3.27.2010

And I Can't Lift You Up Cause My Mind Is Tired

Photo by Megan Caros

I sit here, trying to think of the right word that will call you out of the darkness. There's one of you in your bedroom at night, imagining you are slicing the pain out of your wrists. There's one of you walking the sidewalks that won't lead you home, mentally fingering the edges of the hole in your chest. There's one of you racing along the road, tasting the delectable mental imagery of your fiery release by racing your car off a cliff.

When this entire army of words fail to force you back from that edge. I try to whisper, "There's a miracle in your molecules", but it comes out in a strangled, suffering "Please". I try to usher in the truth of the universe into your ear, the truth that I love you, the truth that the universe wouldn't make sense without you, but instead I fill that space with a shouted, angry "Stop it!" It seems that everything I could say to you, I will say it wrong.

I want nothing more than to bandage your arms, to take off those shoes from your weary feet, to drive you safely home. I'm sitting here, trying to think of the right word that will call you out of the darkness.



I'll use the only three that make sense to me: I love you.

1 comment:

Nathan said...

this was really helpful thank you so much, these were near perfect words I don't think you could have done it any better than this.