It's The Opposite of Hallelujah

I cock my head to the side and put my ear to the glass, listening to the ice cubes quietly crinkle secrets in my ear. They tell me about oceans and being scraped by mountain peaks, dinosaur kidney stones and the inside of my freezer. I tell them I'm sad as they start to melt.

Last night I tried to find my happiness in the boxes I thought I had packed my childhood in, yet all I held in my hand were papers. I tried to understand the darkness that bloomed like bruises behind my eyelids and found myself pressing my hands against the bricks of our fireplace, trying to feel something solid.

I watch in amazement how this sadness passes right through you. I find my hands beating against my chest like caged robins, trying to beat out the hole that will allow my sorrow to pass right through me.

Tomorrow you will drag me out in the sun, you will set my feet in motion. You will turn the corners of my lips up. And I will turn my head every time they fall back down.


Nathan said...

this was sad but extremely beautiful I love the way you write it just has so much feeling.

thedreamweaverandme said...

favorite ever. beautiful, beautifulll