Wow...so yesterday's post is actually incomplete because I wanted to finish later and never got to it, and instead I ended up publishing it in a hurry. So it ends with an incomplete sentence.

I am supposed to be studying for my mid-term in my Intro to American Politics class right now. I am taking a short break because my everything is exhausted from studying so much. I don't know how late I will stay up tonight, but staying up until 4 and trying to wake up at 6 is not as fun as it sounds (and it does not sound very fun at all). My study anthem is Tokyo Police Club's song, "Citizens of Tomorrow." It just so happens to be perfect because it is a "futuristic" song set in 2009 where everyone is enslaved by robots, and I am studying American politics.

For my exam:
"Has the modern presidency gained too much power? Support your answer with examples from specific actions of modern presidents.
Modern presidencies now enslave boys and girls by forcing them to build spaceships at night while our robot masters attempt to clean up the ruins of the old world. They now put microchips in our heart so we can't run away and they can blow us apart at their discretion. In my opinion, that is way to much power."

But seriously, at this point I'm not even sure if I want to study it anymore. I also have another exam that same week for my oceanography class, which means I should start doing the readings and watching the lectures. I started the quarter off really strong, and I was about two weeks ahead in all of my classes, but somehow I am barely keeping up with everything now. This quarter has passed by so quickly, and soon I'll be worrying about finals and then trying to relax over spring break.

Did I ever mention that I might be graduating from the University of Washington by the time I'm 20? That is, if I figure out a major and work really hard to get all of the credits finished, and take summer quarters. Which is entirely possible. I like political science, and specifically American politics. I find it fascinating. But, on the other hand, I am now extremely freaked out and I feel like I'm already having a mid-life crisis. I mean, in my class we discuss President Bush's 2000 election, which was barely 9 years ago, and I was ten years old at the time. I was in fifth grade! That was barely half of my entire lifetime ago. I feel really young and now I'm supposed to decide what I'm going to do for the rest of my life right now.

I know I talk about this a lot, but I am simply not okay with finding a career that will only result in money, not a feeling of accomplishment, worth, beauty, or honesty. My sister and my mom actually tried to convince me to consider a business major, at which point I just started sobbing and saying that it isn't fair. A completely childlife reaction, I am aware, but legitimate all the same. I want a job where I can utilize all of my abilities. I want to use my mind and my body, and at the end of the day I want to feel like everything was worth it. I'm terrified with the idea that someday, I will be couped up in a cubicle and that I won't even remember having ever writing this or feeling this way.

I know that I act responsible, but I'm not. I'm a terrified child extremely opposed to being forced to grow up.

In the meantime, I'll be getting back to studying. As soon as next week is over, I will probably start trying to get more musical and less rantical.

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